Localization is such a pain in the ass. Can’t we just colonize the mud people instead?” — me, about to be reported to HR
hategun (May 09, 2012 at 12:12PM)
Somehow I’ve gone from “Rage Against The Machine” to “Offhandedly Comment That The Price Of Gas Is Unacceptable.
hategun (April 29, 2012 at 10:15PM)
The original title of “Seven Habits Of Highly Effective People” was “Six Habits Of Highly Effective People, Plus Compulsive Masturbation.
hategun (April 29, 2012 at 04:35PM)
America is like the middle-aged white guy guy playing basketball at the city courts, talking trash when he gets his shot blocked.
hategun (April 25, 2012 at 08:37AM)
If America had a spirit animal, it would be an angry sloth on a motorized scooter, eating hot dog crust pizza topped with Doritos tacos.
hategun (April 24, 2012 at 12:04PM)
Anyone who says “the book is always better than the movie” has obviously never read Extreme Anal Sluts 3.
hategun (April 21, 2012 at 11:49AM)
Went for a sports massage, asked for a happy ending. Now I have to find someplace to put this Stanley Cup.
hategun (April 21, 2012 at 11:28AM)
Every toy is a sex toy if you use enough lube.
hategun (April 18, 2012 at 02:06AM)
Day One of Insanity crossfit workout: Still sore from the squats, but the awkwardness from masturbating on a lady in the subway is fading.
hategun (April 14, 2012 at 10:21AM)
Trying to decide: go on a diet, or eat undercooked beef and hope for a tapeworm.
hategun (April 13, 2012 at 06:53PM)
My trainer says “pain is failure leaving the body.” Unfortuntately, not being able to bend my legs to sit on the toilet let it back in.
hategun (April 13, 2012 at 09:11AM)
If you’re ever put in charge of crucifying The Lord And Savior, a funny prank would be replacing the crown of thorns with plastic bunny ears
hategun (April 08, 2012 at 11:14AM)
What’s his name? Quasimodo? You know, now that you mention it, that does ring a bell …
hategun (April 06, 2012 at 09:21PM)
BRB” — Jesus
hategun (April 06, 2012 at 01:06PM)
Mmmm. That chocolate crucifix was sacrilicious.
hategun (April 06, 2012 at 01:05PM)
